Saturday, June 20, 2009

Black Clouds in the Rear View Mirror

Last night as I headed out for worship practice at church, dark gray clouds covered our neighborhood. We live on a hill and anywhere you go, you drive downhill to get there. As I headed west, I saw where the edge of the band of clouds gave way ahead to a very bright sky. Verifying my shades were in my purse on the seat beside me, I drove on. Four minutes from leaving my house, sunlight and puffy clouds covered the sky. Gorgeous. I snatched up my sunglasses, squinting. So nice to have sunshine after a day of rain.

After a few turns, I was headed due west again and, as a matter of habit, glanced in my rear view mirrors. That's when I saw it. A huge bank of black clouds behind me. You know, when I was under that bank, nearer our house, I couldn't tell I was under black clouds--they seemed gray. But the view from farther away showed them clearly--big, menacing black storm clouds hovered over my neighborhood.

Immediately God showed me something profound. I've been going through a season of pain. (You'll find clues reading through earlier blog posts.) And right now, though I know it's difficult, I can't really discern how difficult, how dark. One day I'll see it very clearly. But I believe God is protecting me from the "truth" of how bad this season actually is. Instead of taking my hand to point out the devastation of difficulty, He's taking my hand and drawing me toward that sunny place up ahead. He's walking through this with me.

And that was the good news--I'm not alone and I'm going forward. I won't be staying in this dark, painful place. I will come through this. The Bible often says that things "come to pass." You can pick up anywhere in, say, Abraham's story or one of the king's lives, and you'll probably see the phrase "And it came to pass that..." Well, this trial, this painful season in my life (just like the one in yours) has COME TO PASS. It hasn't come to stay.

So, how will I respond? This week was hard as more truth came to light about this painful season. (God only gives us what we can handle and who would know that better than Him?) And it made me stagger back. But then, my trip last night, coupled with a chapter in the gospels that spoke directly to me about Jesus healing people, gave me hope.

Never underestimate the power of hope.

There is a sunny, bright, pain free place up ahead, and I'm aiming myself directly for it. That's where I'm headed. I'm not staying here. I will hold God's hand and press into Him so He can comfort me.

And I will move forward in hope.


Dawn said...

This is a "season." Just keep reminding yourself that seasons change. Things will get better.

And when this season passes, and you're able to look back in hindsight - you'll realize how much you've learned and grown.

What you glean can be used to minister to people directly and through your writing.

That may not be much comfort now. So in the meantime, hang on and hold tight. God won't let go - only you can choose to.

Annette M. Irby said...

You are the best! Thanks, Dawn.